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Behind this Grafitti
Coming of age in the 21st century is all about apathy to miracles. Not that I'm losing my thoughts to apathy. Or angst - ridden subjects of loss. Failure. Pain. Self reproach. Silly moments. Washed in my signature haze of luminous tenderness. Of my uncanny skill of taking venom out of painful, somewhat emotional experiences...... leaving only the sweet exhaustion of having lived through it, and the compassionate promised of moving on. Far from it. It's just that the miraculous, being so routine, easily fades into the background. In this blog, I'm exposed. My strengths, my ideas, my personal space in life.

Sunday, May 30, 2004

At last!

I can now post on my blog. I don't have any idea what happened with my account. Suddenly, I can't post my adventures et al. There was this tiny thingy that was a square with an x on it. Sometimes, it was a square with triangle, circle and square on it. What were those?

Too many things were forgotten because of a little nuisance. Good thing I can still remember some he he.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

To mention, I met this grade 2 Chinese American classmate of mine in our office building. Man, people do change! Gone were her braids and her girly look before. Now she look like a man with her ties and character. I was shocked. But well, that was almost 15 years ago I think. She can't even believe at first that I was her classmate when I've greeted her at the lobby. When I saw her, I knew that I've already met her before but I wasn't that sure. Suddenly, I saw her name on her company I.D. Mylene Santos. Oh my gosh! The Mylene Santos. My classmate. Cute. Smart. The girl who can outrun and outsmart every guys in class. A close friend. Well, what do you know. Now I eat lunch with her when we're both free.

0o000oo0o0o

My rich pure Chinese cousin called me a week ago. Guess what, she wanted me to be one of her bridesmaids on her June wedding. Who am I to say no eventhough I wanted to scream and say "What?!!!! A bridesmaid? Oh man, no!!!!" Really, I'm not that comfortable wearing sexy dresses. It's not me. Maybe before I would wear one when I have to but I've gained weight. Do you think I can carry it? The dress is a tube gown low cut at the back. I wanted to cry. That means I have to tone down for two weeks. No rice. Plain fruits. Head to the gym after office hours. I'm glad the gym is at the mall near our office. I'm doomed. If I still possess that body that I had before, then, I won't have any problem but well.....

I guess I have to eat like Banzai Descent. I've heard he's a vegetarian. He has no fat in his body. I saw him. Once. He even invited me to eat french fries. Tempting but I was already full.

0o0o0o0o0ooo

I love watching people. I don't know if my friends are aware of that but I do.

But not the kind that ogles over them trying to look through their dresses and making sense of what curves and shapes lie beneath. I specifically relish the experience of sitting in one of those crowded places like cafes or airport lounges and quietly fill your sight with faces and all possible mysteries that go with them.

Recently, I dropped by a coffeeshop near my office and decided to while away time. I pulled out a book from my bag, but decided to put it back in no time after getting bored with long sentences and pathetic stories of men whose only reason for living is to stick in their sticks in all the holes they can find. I then sat back, relaxed, and opted to quietly feast my eyes with
everyone there.

Lest I be accused of reckless imprudence resulting in womanslaughter (if there's such a thing), I assure you, I only do friendly stares. I enjoy looking at the other customers but I specially delight in watching waiters, lady guards, receptionists, and the others who, by virtue of their work, are transformed instantly as our meek servants in between crisp curses and swears. I normally look for a certain twitch in their brows or pout on the lips or listen to the tone of their voices, sometimes even an infuriating mannerism. From there, I get drowned in a deluge of thoughtful questions.

: Could he be married? Was it a shot-gun wedding?

: Is he the family's breadwinner?
: I wonder if he's happy.
: Why is she so clingy?
: Did he ever finish college?
: Are they still virgins?
: From which province could be be?
: Why is he eating that way?
: How mean can she get?
: Did he have a good morning?
: Is he happy with his job?
: Does he read the newspaper?
: Is she good in bed?
: Has he ever worn a thong?

Crazy thoughts. But they make you the best scenario builder in the world.


























posted by flyingschoolgal, 05/30/04 19:54 | link | comments (12)

Friday, May 28, 2004

 

Take a breather flyingschoolgal.

Fast.

 

posted by flyingschoolgal, 05/28/04 10:44 | link | comments (2)

Saturday, May 15, 2004

I'm supposed to continue my food trip adventure but damn it!!!!!! I have one hellish week! Got only around 24 hours of sleep all in all. I'm stressed out. I failed an examination. Okay, I didn't fail but I got a 77. That was a first. I got 96 last week. Not meeting my expectations got me to hit what we call our Starbucks wanna-be umbrella or the cancer area. I had to stop myself from smoking because I was puffing too fast. No! Scratch that! My friends have to stop me from smoking because I was puffing 4 cigarettes in 2 minutes. And I thought I was puffing too slow. So what happened? Sleep. I need that. Coffee didn't help me. Family feud. Too many activities.

Sigh.

I'm going to be a godmother tomorrow. A first. Am I excited? Yup. But I'm tired. Soooooooo tired. I have to wake up at around 4 a.m. tomorrow because I'm going to travel to the North. Around 5 hours travel I guess. Man, I'm doomed.

I'll continue my food trip adventure next week. I'm sorry if I didn't get to visit my motime friends' blogs and give a comment. My pc crashed again.

Sigh.

Sweet dreams everyone!

posted by flyingschoolgal, 05/15/04 18:52 | link | comments (13)

Thursday, May 06, 2004

One of the greatest mysteries I have pondered for quite a while is that why everything that feels or tastes good in this world is stamped as sinful, harmful, or fattening.

 

Hmmmm… I’m very sure that if Dr. Atkins will check my body, he’s going to blurt out this line with a grim expression. “Frankly speaking sweetheart, you’re one of those people headed straight for the Intensive Care Unit, The Fat Farm, or whichever comes first.” Sigh. Why wouldn’t he? I’m addicted to rice!!! And I guess that’s the complete enemy at the dinner table. Consider also my current food lifestyle: Yummy burgers, pork, and beef in all its glorious permutations, anything fried plus ice cold Coke to wash it down are all junked together as toxic to my system and contributory to my waistline. Moving on to the dessert menu, this diet includes such blasphemous delights as chocolate, blueberry cheesecake, ice-cream or salad which are often described as “sinful”. Coffee, (which I’m very much addicted to) the world’s most widely consumed psychoactive drug of choice (and preferred drink of navel gazers everywhere) is sometimes referred to as the “The Devil’s Cup”. Tell me, can you say no once you inhaled that delicious cup of Machiatto? Will you dare cover your eyes and quip “No. I’m-not-interested-thank-you!” when a Rhumba Frapp is offered? Can you resist the mind blowing and tempting albeit a classic cup of Double Shot Espresso?

 

I’m also big when it comes to having a food trip. You know, that hobby that requires a bit more brainpower and not to mention stomach power? In our little global ghetto, everyone’s a food tripper in one way or another........

 

To be continued……… I’m going to be late for work. =)

posted by flyingschoolgal, 05/06/04 09:52 | link | comments (7)